missed connections
By Alyssa Shelasky, Cut columnist and editor of the “Sex Diaries” column since 2014. She is also the author of the essay collection 'This Might Be Too Personal' and the memoir 'Apron Anxiety.'
Photo: Mario Tama/Getty Images
Every now and then, you’ll hear about a couple or a pair of friends who met on Craigslist’s Missed Connections. But most of the time, posting on Missed Connections (which Craigslist announced it was removing last week) led nowhere fast. But interacting with the section did represent hope. And humor. And who knows, maybe even a fling with Michelle Williams. Here are five New Yorkers on their best Missed Connections memories.
I Saw Him on the Subway
I used to eye-f*ck people all the time on trains. Well, not all the time. But I’ve had so many subway flirtations, moments where my mind was convinced I was staring into the soul of my soul mate, that I can’t even keep track. So while I only posted once on Missed Connections, I certainly searched it at least ten times to see if anyone posted about searching for me.
The one time I did post, I had given directions to a French tourist. He was traveling alone and totally adorable. He was more masculine than most French guys, grittier, yet very elegant, and I had butterflies in my stomach all through our 60-second exchange. I told him to get off at West 4th street. As soon as the train took off, I deeply regretted not getting off at West 4th street too. I wondered all day if he thought about me while roaming around New York alone. I posted something on Missed Connections saying “Looking for a French guy, mid-20’s, I gave you directions ….”Nothing, of course. And then the next day I actually walked around the neighborhood, just in case. Alas, c’est dommage.
Are You My Mother?
I’m adopted and know very little about my biological parents. One day on the train, I sat across from an older woman who looked just like me, but older. I mean, exactly. I studied her for about ten minutes. She looked at me — in a peculiar way — too, but I couldn’t be sure if she connected the dots. Or if there were any dots to be connected in the first place. I couldn’t figure out how to even begin asking her if she gave someone up for adoption 30 years ago, so I just got off at my stop without saying anything. As the subway peeled away, my heart sank. I should have said something. So I posted on Missed Connections — “Were you wearing an orange scarf and carrying a book bag with library books? I have the most bizarre thing to tell you …” I never heard anything and a few years later I found out who my real mother is. It definitely wasn’t her.
My Mysterious Library Crush
When I was in college, I stared at the same guy in the library for a year. He was this disheveled WASP type and I was obsessed with him. All my friends know about Library Boy. I never had the guts to even say hello, and then it was summer break, so I took a shot and posted “Are you my Library Crush?” on Missed Connections. It was a shot in the dark. Nothing happened but the next year, we got to know each other in real life. And he was a huge disappointment. Some people are better left as fantasies.
She Tried to Hold My Hand
This is an only-in-NYC story. I was finishing Just Kids at a café in the Flatiron district and I was sobbing. My hands were trembling. It was really bad. A stranger — a middle-aged woman — came and sat next to me. She said, “Do you want me to hold your hand while you read? I finished that book last week and I know how amazing it is …” I said no thank you, and while I was polite (I think?) I kind of brushed her off. It was a little weird in the moment. And honestly, I didn’t want to be interrupted. But then I got home and realized what a kind gesture that was … and how f*cked up that I thought a warm act of humanity had to mean she was “weird.” So I posted on Missed Connections, “Were you the person who saw me reading Just Kids and asked if I needed my hand held? I just wanted to say thank you.” I doubt she ever read it, but it made me feel a little better posting that.
Michelle Williams, Are You Looking for Me?
This is so embarrassing to admit, but I saw Michelle Williams on the subway twice in one week. I think she remembered me the second time because she smiled at me in a demure, kind of flirtatious way. I felt chemistry and I think she did too. I’m an actor and it wouldn’t be the craziest thing to date me. So while I didn’t post about it on Missed Connections, I went looking for a post from her. Okay, searching desperately for a post for her! Obviously, she never posted. But I had hope for a second. I have a feeling we will meet again, so we’ll see!
Tags:
- missed connections
- craigslist
- true story
- romance
- self
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